Autumn Pleasantries and Reflections

Hmmm,

I've been feeling disconnected from the general high school social scene. I rarely have, but lately I'm more aware of it. Furthermore, I'm aware that feeling connected to it doesn't make me happy. I find no value from the destructive,critical, and careless nature of many of my peers. It feels empty, harsh, and insincere, so it's even hard to resonate with the people I hang out with regularly. I'm ready to move on, forward, and out of high school.

I went to a garden workshop earlier today, and I wish I could've stayed at the farm all day. It was a chance to escape the smoke, the revving of engines, and the endless leather that engulfs Fayetteville this time of year. It's Bikes, Blues, and Barbecue this weekend, and if you haven't heard of it, you're not missing much. Bikers from around the country strap up their gear and head to Dickson Street, the usually charming center of town. I've never had a positive experience with it, so I'm ready for the weekend to be over.

The workshop, however, was incredibly refreshing. It was out at the farm off of Highway 45. I'm not sure if it has a known name, but it's a little community in which people live and garden and eat together and raise children together. It was beautiful, but it ended up being one of those indecisive autumn days. The sun was radiant, but often it shied behind clouds, and I was constantly taking off and reapplying layers of clothing.

We were discussing season extension (the use of cold frames, fleeces, etc. to extend crop production into winter). Everyone seemed to have a fair say on gardening techniques, and the differing viewpoints often contradicted each other. Regardless, I hope to use some of that knowledge to further develop our beds this season.

Really, I enjoyed the setting more than the content. I've been reevaluating my beliefs lately, and I'm beginning to doubt the corporate world. The kids ran around in diapers on the farm, and their mothers trailed behind in bonnets and overalls. I could imagine them eating the food they grew all around the kitchen table. I can imagine those kids growing up to learn how to work the field from their father, and they may or may not attend high school. But what does that matter? They grow their own food, they have land, they have practical knowledge, and they are happy. Are most people happy in their cubicles or under fluorescent lights or in pencil skirts?

I'm being eaten alive by school. My time management skills from SoS are slipping, slipping, slipping until I'm up at midnight with a hundred more pages of In Cold Blood (hardly the bedtime story). Or Calculus. Or some other arbitrary assignment. It's not that I find it intellectually challenging, but its worth isn't apparent anymore. Why aren't I fulfilled by my schooling anymore? What's changed?

Anyway. The majority of my day was just lovely, with market and bike riding and family and autumn. So it, so it, so it goes.

Best,
Serena