Today is Saturday, January 15, and it is the second day of the Northwest January Gathering in Portland. As I mentioned in my last post, January Gathering is a chance for upcoming program leaders to gain skills and organize their thoughts on the next few months. Yesterday I remember feeling very, very exhausted, but right now I feel refreshed. It's raining, and we're about to head back to the next session. Before lunch the Portland program leader, Nathan, led us through a project development training, and I'd really like to share some reflections I had following the session.
After the workshop, I got shivers. Nathan framed this process as magical, transformative, and I really feel that. It's raining here, and I really feel that, too. I feel cleansed -- cleansed and washed and rained upon. I feel vulnerable. Naked. We are starting from scratch - or are we? Either way the freedom is intimidating. The potential is uplifting. The shivers give me goosebumps, and I'm ready to begin.
Even with an adaptable project development method last year, I still had a survivalist mindset. I felt as though I was working against time and the community and even the landscape. I felt as though I was fighting. I don't want to be fighting anymore. That's the mindset shift I'm very nervous about, the mindset that is my growing edge: letting people in. Putting faith in others. Putting faith in the support others give me. Faith is something I'm not very familiar with and not yet comfortable with either. I wonder if that's because of a lack of faith in source -- I've never given up my efforts and let things happen on their own. Perhaps that's why I find singing so liberating - it's about giving up control and letting the voice resonate on its own. Our body provides the venue for sound but ultimately it is the vibration - the interaction between energy and source - that makes the voice ring.
Beautifully said, Serena! Developing projects like we are can be such a huge process - so many pieces coming together at once. But it can also be so powerful not just to see the end product, but to touch each part as it fits together and understand the bigger picture. I can't wait to hear more about the gathering!
ReplyDelete-Matt K
sparkles all over this thing. I'm so excited to get started!
ReplyDeleteYIkes I wrote this long comment and lost it when I tried to post it.
ReplyDeletePerhaps those lost words that had felt so right will float out onto the Universe.
ReplyDeleteThis second rewrite is a wannabe. though a contribution none the less.
I applaud your courageousness to put yourself out into the world in new ways, may you be blessed ten fold.
Cleansing is good, restorative, opens you to new possibilities.
Sing, whistle, whisper, sound into silence into resonating sound. Touch the silence beneath the sound. Source beneath the silence. Source birthing sound.
rain...it doesn't fight...it knows how to be rain.
I am in gratitude of sacred expression, sacred silence..... your words....the action behind your words.
Thank you for sharing.
You are loved.
mum